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Friday, 11 February 2011

Why the Chinese Eat Dog.

Now obviously it’s a sweeping generalisation that the Chinese, as a nation, eat dogs. In fact of the Chinese people that I’ve met and known several may have had dogs (as pets!) but I know of none vanishing in a black-beany haze. However, whilst I am truly a dog lover, and not in a gastronomic sense, I am coming around to perhaps some motive at least as to why one may indulge in a pup pasty or a Lassie stew.

Just a quick note for any vegetarians reading - I understand that you may have experienced the following nor in principal agree. For your sake if you substitute the following; turkey for a brussel sprout, pork for cauliflower, beef for broccoli, chicken for a leek, duck for a nice fresh carrot, fish for mangetu and lamb for a sweet honey roast parsnip then you may just get the gist.

So, the theory that I have goes thus. The cuter the animal, the better the taste. At the very bottom of the scale, I can assure you, I once tried alligator. Beastly fiend, the epitomy of leathery evil and a taste of fish with a porky texture. Quite unsettling compared to actual pork.  Pigs, occasionally cute but generally boarish and certainly seldom a childs preferred object of affection at a farm visit is turned to pork chops, a filling but average meat rarely cooked to jaw dropping standards. The occasional piggy cuties are simply explained. Bacon. Mmmmm.

So onward the cute vs flavour scale continues. Turkey, an ugly bird and thankfully retained for one feast a year, steeped in gravy, cranberry and all manner of accompaniments to make it bearable. Contrastingly chicken, cute, fluffy little things that grow into amusingly jerky adults, are really rather tasty! The Colonel has made a fortune from it. Would his turkey have been finger lickin’ good? I doubt it. As we all know Nemo, the cute little fella and his fishy, adventurous, underdog nature go fantastically with chips on a Friday night or perhaps cream cheese on a breakfast bagel. Mmmm. Moving onward and upward is steak. Her big brown eyes and fluttering eyelashes, that look of love and a slap from a big dark tongue as you pass the pen. Deeeeeeelicious.

Finally the top of the English tree at least, just pipping Bambi, it's lamb. Fluffy, bouncy, mint-saucey heaven. Whether drop off the bone, flavour sensation Morrocan undertoned beauty or pink, simple, tasty joy. Top of the cute AND taste tree you see!

Surely, continuing on this scale we all know what’s next. Are nations are just ahead of their  time? A puppy fondue perhaps? Kitten casserole? I have no burning desire to find out personally for two reasons. Firstly I am, as stated above, a dog lover. Loyal, fun, the most interactive of pets and the one that loves back. Secondly, if dog is a wondrous ambrosia, send from the gods to nourish us then what is next? After having this discussion with someone last night I couldn’t help but drool a little and my tummy let out a slight whimper as the latest Huggies advert flitted across the TV screen. I'd best stop at lamb!

Statistically proven?

1 comment:

  1. Gator is just must not have had the right spices!